Love And How It All Began
by toyhto
Summary: One year, thousands of notes and quite many detentions. Can James be still a little more irritating? Can Lily stand talking to him or even liking him? What’s the secret behind Sirius’ stomach muscles? Lily/James
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** One year, thousands of notes and quite many detentions. Can James be still a little more irritating? Can Lily stand talking to him or even liking him? What's the secret behind Sirius' stomach muscles?

**A/N: **Thank you so much to my beta _Beelsebutt_ for not letting me publish this story with all those mistakes still with it ;)

The inspiration to this fic came after I had read great book called "Where The Rainbows End" by Cecelia Ahern, so I have to recommend that book to all of you. Writing this fic also made me finally realize how lovely couple Lily and James really are!

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**Love And How It All Began  
**

**Chapter 1  
**  
Evans,  
will you go to Hogsmeade with me? This evening?  
James

Potter,  
listen to your teacher.  
Lily Evans

Evans,  
I'm not interested in the history but the future. Hogsmeade?

Potter,  
the students aren't allowed to go to Hogsmeade whenever they want to. I'm sorry if you haven't noticed that within the seven years you have spent here, but there are special weekends for visiting Hogsmeade. Besides, you can go by yourself. I'm not interested.

Miss Lily Evans,  
there are other ways of going to Hogsmeade than those in which Head Girl has gotten used to.

Potter,  
shut up.

Evans,  
was that "yes"?

Potter,  
I'm trying to focus on learning. Professor Binns might put a question about this topic into the N.E.W.T. exams.

Evans,  
there is still almost a year before them. Binns still has time to die before the exams.

Potter,  
Professor Binns is already dead.

Evans,  
that joke was exceptionally poor. Common room at seven?

Potter,  
I'm going nowhere with you. Shut up.

Remus,  
could you possibly be so kind and not give me those notes Potter is sending anymore? It disturbs my studying.  
Lily

Lily,  
okay. Sorry.  
Remus

Remus,  
no hard feelings. It's not your fault that your friend has an obsession and serious problems with concentrating.

Padfoot,  
it's not working. Lily hates doesn't get it to her head what's the best for her.

Prongs,  
bad luck.

What in Merlin's name should I do?

Well, what have you done until this? Besides trying to date her and tell her how much you love her?

What're you trying to say?

Prongs,  
you've done everything you can. And you've done it for five years already.

Pads,  
say it to Lily.

Prongs,  
you should change the target. What's so special in Evans anyway? Quite a nice hair, if you happen to like red and want to wear sunglasses inside the house. I've seen much better tits and legs. And Evans is stubborn and thinks she knows it all. Someone should probably just hit you on your head so that you would realize it.

Sirius,  
don't talk about Lily's tits.

Why? You think that I've never noticed them being there? Merlin, what else would I do when she's complaining to us about some stupid rules?

Cut it out. I want Lily and that's it.

You're gonna lose your rep.

Evans,  
can I see you in the library after the classes? And by the way, don't go near Sirius, do you?

Lily Evans and James Potter,  
you have gained a detention today 9th in September in this classroom. The reason for this manner is your unsuitable behavior during the class (sending notes). Please be there at the time.  
Professor Binns

Potter,  
do you happen to have anything inside your head? Like brain?! I got a detention because of you!! Do you still think that I'm going to go anywhere with you?

Evans,  
how about after the detention?

Potter,  
you're a hopeless moron. I'm not going to read your notes anymore.

Padfoot,  
me and Lily are gonna have a detention together!

Prongs,  
calm down. Binns will be there too.

Binns is already dead.

How is that supposed to affect?

No idea.

Prongs,  
you should get your head examined. Evans will drive you crazy even tough she barely speaks to you.

James and Sirius,  
you should concentrate on studying. Binns said that this topic is quite important for the exams.  
Remus

Moony,  
which exams?  
Prongs

James,  
N.E.W.T. Does it ring the bell?

Which bell?

The tiny little voice in your head, James.

There's almost a year before those exams, Remus.

Moony,  
let Prongs be. I'll die if he starts studying too.  
Padfoot

Sirius,  
some studying could help you both. Besides, if James is still planning to get Lily, he has one more reason to study. Lily is too smart to fall for someone who doesn't care about his future or understand how important studying is. In fact, James should probably forget Lily right away. It could do good to his mental health.  
Remus

Sirius,  
what're you talking about?  
Peter

Peter,  
James' mental health.

Merlin.

I agree. Quite shocking it is. I guess I have to skip the next lesson. I've heard rumors that the bathrooms in the third floor have been okay almost a week.

Too much information, Pads.

Don't think too much, Wormtail. I didn't mean that. I was just thinking. Within past two weeks we've done nothing that would have changed Filch's hair into blue.

Have fun in the bathroom. What an earth is Binns talking about?

Lily,  
I'm sorry about the detention. I just thought that Binns wouldn't notice anything. Merlin, he noticed nothing when we changed Andrew Abbot's hair into spaghetti during the lesson, how was I supposed to know, that he would me be more, well, living, today? Andrew even started eating his hair before realizing that, yes, it was his hair, do you remember? And Binns just kept talking. Peter claimed that you were laughing among the others, even though you tried to hit me with a pumpkin. You should learn how to aim better. I'm serious.  
But for real, I'm sorry. Or, well, I'm not sorry but I don't want you to be angry at me.  
James

Potter,  
please tell Remus that next time, when he tells you to apologize me, he needs to make sure that you're at least doing it properly. That was the worst apology ever.  
Lily Evans

Lily,  
why're you smiling?  
Alice

-----------------------

Lily,  
could we make a deal? For this detention, you forget to act like you would hate me, and I won't tell anyone about it afterwards?  
James

Potter,  
I'm not acting.  
Lily Evans

Lily,  
but there's no one else here! Well, of course Binns is here, but I'm pretty sure he's lost in the sixteenth century again, or something. Have you seen him looking at anything within the last ten minutes? Once Sirius tried to clean the dust of him. Well, he couldn't make it, because his hand just went through him, but I'm sure you got the idea. Binns isn't living enough to realize that you're trying to act like hating me. Why pretend?

Potter,  
I'm still not pretending.

Lily,  
why would you hate me?

Potter,  
your shoe is on my robe. Back off. Now.

So?

You're irritating, Potter! You should look at the mirror sometimes! You aren't the centre of the world and you surely aren't the centre of MY world!

You don't even know me!

And thanks to Merlin for that! Besides, that's not the point. Come on, Potter. You've been disturbing me for the past five years in exactly the same way. I don't need to know you any better.

So you hate me, because I happen to like you? How is that any fair, Evans?

Have you ever bothered to think, why do you have that obsession? If someone hit me with a bludger and I lost my mind and thought I liked you, you wouldn't be interested in me for more than few days.

Wanna try?

No way! Potter, let me be, I'm not interested in you.

Have you someone else, then?

Should I have?

Evans! Tell me!

I'm quite sure Binns glanced at us just a minute ago. We should focus on sorting these papers.

EVANS!

No.

EVANS!!!

I told you already! No, I've got no one else in my mind. Nor have I you in my mind, so don't you even think about that. And now I'm going to take care of the rest of this detention as soon as possible. If you manage to get me into a detention ever again, I swear that you won't ever have any children.

Don't you want children?

Potter, I'm NOT going to have children with you, and if I ever have some, you won't be nearer than hundred kilometers away from them, and if your offspring tries to pick up any of them, I'm gonna take personally care of you going into Azkaban.

Minerva,  
mister Potter and miss Evans are too busy with arguing to be able to take care of their detention. I suppose you should recognize the problem, since they both belong to your house. If I was you, I would probably just wait and see how things go. Intervening the lives of the young may cause many high risks, and, I should add, in the end it goes in vain because there won't be even hundred years before Potter and Evans will both be dead. Anyway, I thought that because you also are still young, you might want to offer your help for them to make them interact in more suitable ways. In addition, I would be very grateful if your students were able to value the detention a little more in the future, as it is done to make this school better for us all. Even tough I am quite sure that in the end every student ends up being whatever he or she will, no matter how hard we try.

Sincerely yours,  
professor Binns

Horatius,  
do you still think that James Potter has some serious issues with Potions?

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**A/N:** I'm glad you read this long! Any reviews would be more than welcome before the next chapter arrives :)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! Yes, this isn't one-shot and there are still six more chapters to come after this one today…

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**Chapter 2**

Potter,  
do you happen to know, why the heck Slughorn asked me to help you with Potions? Potions?! YOU? Have you hexed him or something?  
Lily Evans

Lily,  
maybe Slughorn thinks that I could use some help.  
James

Potter,  
well, he surely is right then, but the help you need is for your mental health, not potions! And TWO TIMES A WEEK? Why an earth should you even be good at Potions? Of course, I know that you had your cauldron exploded twice within one and a half months, and that you killed that bird with your Coloring Potion, but how is it my problem? Couldn't Remus help you? Or anyone else but me?

Lily,  
the cauldron thing wasn't my fault. The second time, it was Sirius.

Potter,  
that's not the point. You're hopeless, but why should I lose my freedom because of it?

Lily,  
but it really WAS Sirius. I swear. He had already finished the Sadness Potion and because Remus didn't want to talk to him, he decided to try what would happen if he emptied a bottle of frog legs into my potion. Well, as you remember, it exploded. But Sirius is such a good actor that no one believed me. Anyway, it was his fault.

Potter,  
you'd better keep an eye on your potions.

Lily,  
you could teach me that.

Prongs,  
I'm sorry to interrupt your intense conversation with Evans (well I'M NOT and McGonagall has been staring at you five minutes behind her spectacles so let it be already) but I really need to tell this before Peter gets that I'm writing to you and tries to find out what I'm saying. When I was going to the bathroom after the breakfast, I decided to go to the second floor, you surely remember the bathroom no one has used since Peeves painted it pink, and well anyway I was going there and you will never believe what I saw, PETER WITH A GIRL! A GIRL! IN A CORRIDOR! Think about that!  
Padfoot

WHICH GIRL?

Not Evans, don't be scared. I'm pretty sure it was Rose Galloway, the Ravenclaw girl who's a year younger than we, but I wasn't in fact able to see anything but her dark brown hair, so to be honest I'm not so sure who it was. Fuck, just last week I thought I could do her.

Well, maybe Peter leaves a piece of her to you.

Prongs,  
you and your dirty imagination.

Thanks and back at you.

James,  
what does the last note mean? I wasn't following. What has Sirius done?  
Remus

Nothing. But Wormtail has A WOMAN.

WHAT? WHO?

Moony, you should focus on learning. What if they ask about this in N.E.W.T.?

Shut up, Prongs.

Rose Galloway.

What?

That girl. Wormtail's girl.

Peter,  
do you have something going on with Rose Galloway? Because if you have, I have to say that she's a really nice girl and that I hope you haven't allowed Sirius to brainwash you and make you believe that one can't keep the same girl for more than two weeks, because Rose Galloway isn't really the type to be with only for two weeks. She's more like two month's type, whatever Sirius would say.  
Remus

Remus,  
who told you?  
Peter

James.

Oh, fuck. Calm down, we were just kissing.

Are you seeing her?

No. I'm not as obsessed as James is. I can just kiss a girl without wanting to marry her.

Moony,  
why Peter keeps staring at me? Does it have something to do with something you were writing to him? Does he think that I'm going to steal Rose Galloway from him? You can tell him that he needs to get it to his fat head, that I like LILY EVANS and no one else! As far as I'm concerned, Peter can go to hell or at least to Forbidden Forest with that Ravenclaw girl.  
James

James,  
I'd be delighted to.  
Peter

James,  
we all know that you can't get to your fat head anyone but Lily Evans. Personally I think that it's far better than Sirius' habit of changing the girl he's trying to pick up twice a week, but I guess Sirius and Peter don't admire your commitment like I do. And to be honest, I also think that you should calm down with Evans. Your plans aren't working. It's not helping that you're trying to make her head explode with all those notes or that you're trying all you're worth to make her do something with you. And no, I'm not speaking about wardrobes. You've kind of stuck with your attack phase, but maybe you should change it a little. Or more. For example, you could try being just friends with Lily.  
Remus

Remus,  
I don't want to be her friend. How can you think that I could handle it? Being near her without making any propositions? I don't even have that kind of friends! I mean, girls. Friends, who are girls, and to whom I don't make any propositions.  
James

James,  
well, maybe THAT's your problem. Maybe you're interested in Lily only in a superficial way if you can't see any benefits in being just her friend.

Remus,  
I'm in LOVE with Lily Evans and well, I'm really not interested in her only in a superficial way as you put it. Merlin, what's wrong with you today? I'm just so in LOVE with her that I wouldn't be able to be casual with her.

James,  
you're seventeen.

What was that supposed to mean?

Hormones. Besides, you'll have plenty of time to fall in love with many other girls in your life. I'll promise, okay? Of course, it could happen that for some reason Lily suddenly ends up loving all the things she now hates about you, but to be honest I don't think that's ever going to happen. So maybe you should focus on finding someone else.

Prongs,  
why won't you talk to Moony?

Pads,  
Moony claims that I'll forget Lily.

Thanks to Merlin that it was Moony who said it. He's always right.

Shut up.

Now I have to find someone else than Rose Galloway. The seventh year in this school has been going on for almost two weeks already, and I haven't got any woman yet! If I'm not gonna catch up, Remus will soon be claiming that I have lost my ability or something. Or, what's even worse, the girls could think so, too, and then I'll never get anyone. Merlin, James, why do you have to be so boring and have that eternal crush on Evans? We could be the most wanted men in Hogwarts' history!

I am. I'm just even more wanted, because there's even more challenge about getting me, because I'm not interested, because I'm in love with Evans.

Girls lost their interest in you in the fifth grade, Prongs, when you had embarrassed us all by singing that Muggle song to Evans at the breakfast in front of the whole school. Remember? You have just been staring at Evans so fiercely ever since, that you haven't noticed that no one runs after you anymore.

All You Need Is Love? That song? Evans liked it even though she hasn't admitted it yet. If I was available, I'd have a girlfriend within a few seconds.

You have such an imagination! By the way, have you seen Moira Abbot's robe recently? I'll bet it's lacking some buttons. In fact, all the buttons should be denied, they are just in the way. And have you noticed that Abbot has kind of nice nose? A little strange, but quite nice anyway. Or chin. I don't know. Moony is so much better with this kind of things. Anyway, I think that since Peter got Galloway, Abbot might be my next target.

You keep to your Hufflepuffs, dog.  
James

Have you ever been in bed with a Hufflepuff?  
Sirius

No.

It was a rhetorical question, which means that I knew the answer. Unless you haven't told me everything. James?!! And anyway, I have to say that if you ever get over your little obsession about Evans, you should definitely try Hufflepuffs. Of course, I can't be certain that they all are the same, but I've got some VERY DELIGHTFUL experiences.

Sirius Black,  
if I ever happen to read a note written by you that is written during the lesson again – which, I have to say, is very unfortunate time to do anything but study – and if the topic is unsuitable or ethically unclear I have to arrange a discussion with the headmaster. And that discussion is going to be serious.  
Professor McGonagall

Moony,  
what is she trying to say? Do you get it?  
Sirius

Sirius,  
it means that you're in trouble.

Moony,  
finally.

-----------------

Potter,  
what are you doing? You should focus on studying.  
Lily Evans

Evans,  
what are you doing? You should focus on studying, but you use your valuable time writing me notes. Are you sure that you don't want go to Hogsmeade?

James Potter

Potter,  
I don't understand who taught you to be so irritating. It has to be in your genes.

Evans,  
I know nothing about any genes but I can assure that I haven't got them.

Lily,  
YOU ALMOST DROPPED SOME FROG GRASS INTO THIS POTION. What's wrong with you? Are you laughing?  
Alice

Alice,  
sorry.  
Lily.

Potter,  
for two months I have been trying to teach you some potions (and I want to remind you that I'm still doing it only because Slughorn told me to and I don't want my teacher to think that I'm lazy), but how can you imagine that you'll learn anything, if you don't even listen to the teacher? If you keep on acting like this, I'll have to teach you 'till the spring!  
Lily Evans

Evans,  
I'll take that as a promise.

Potter,  
it wasn't a promise, it was a threat. If you aren't able to do a proper Coloring Potion (and proper means that it must not kill anyone) before Christmas, I'll give up. No matter what Slughorn says. And you are the one who will explain to him that you're are a lost case and teaching you is complete waste of time, because you aren't learning anything, and because of that there's no need to be angry with me, because I really can't teach you anymore.

Evans,  
there're still one and half months 'till Christmas. I have plenty of time to learn, and don't worry, I haven't got slightest intention to make you quit teaching me. I like it very much. Besides, you haven't tried to hex me in two weeks.

Potter,  
that's due to the fact that you haven't tried to hit on me in the last two weeks. If you keep on being approximately human and not a brainless idiot, as usual, I'm going to try not to hex you. You know very well that I don't break any rules without a good reason with black, messy hair and an incredible ability to be irritating.

Evans,  
you have an obsession about me.

Potter,  
go to hell.

Evans,  
you wrote that last note (okay, not the last but the one before it) for several minutes, although you could have used that time listening to the professor. If you still claim that you don't like me, you must at least have an obsession about me.

Potter,  
your logic isn't working. I'm not interested in you nor have an obsession about you, and in fact it's completely otherwise and you know it very well. You're just trying to mess up my head.

Evans,  
is it working?

Potter,  
no. Is Peter still seeing Rose?

I guess. I don't know about them anything I didn't already know on Tuesday. I guess it was when we talking about this, wasn't it? I guess they aren't fighting anymore. Remus thought that their fight was about dating. You know, Pete wants to keep things as they are and Rose wants to be his girlfriend, not just a random girl with whom Pete enjoys himself. But this morning they smiled at each other when they passed by in the corridor. Sirius calls it the breakfast smile. To be honest, I could bet that they won't stay together much longer. I mean, if Rose really wants to date him and Pete just wants to have fun, doesn't Rose get tired of him quite soon? And if Peter still doesn't want to make any commitments, I guess that's it.

What's the breakfast smile? And I really don't get what's in Peter's head. If he really likes Rose, why wouldn't he date her for real? What's so fun with sneaking in the corridors and claiming that they aren't doing anything serious, when they are still together every other evening?

You don't want to know what the breakfast smile is. And sneaking in the corridors definitely has its pros. For example, if Peter should fall for someone else, Rose couldn't blame him because they never had a real relationship. And Peter doesn't have to write about her to his parents or take her to his place on holidays or argue with Sirius about if having a relationship is stupid or not.

Potter,  
you have to tell me what the breakfast smile is. Otherwise I'll tell you to make Love Potion next time I'll teach you and then I'll make you and Blanche Martin drink it and she falls for you and you're lost forever.

Evans,  
I can take care of myself. And I don't think the potion would work on me.

Potter,  
it works for anyone. I'm sorry, but you have no change to escape. Blanche will take you to France and you'll live there until the end of your miserable life. You'll have five dark-haired children and they are all idiots. How sad. Now, the breakfast smile.

Evans,  
it's from the Sirius Vocabulary. It means "let's smile for now, but wait until I've eaten my breakfast, I bet we'll have plenty of time to fuck on McGonagall's table".

Potter,  
you're SICK.

I said you won't like it.

You could have lied. And I'm not shocked at all. MCGONAGALL'S TABLE?

You know it, right? In her classroom? And don't ask me, Sirius has always had a good imagination what comes to fantasies.

Has Sirius ever dated anyone?

For real? I don't know. One summer he had a thing going on with a Muggle girl. She was quite nice, she had kind of similar eyes to yours, even though Sirius never admitted it. Emily lives quite near to my place and I guess I played with her when we were children. Anyway, Sirius saw her and after that he just kept telling me that I should get to know her again. I don't even know if he was planning something already, but then I began to talk to her again and Sirius got to know her, too, and one day I realized that I was sitting under the apple tree when they were lying on a lawn together and giggling. SIRIUS GIGGLED TOO. It was quite frightening. He looked like he was really in love, and then the autumn came and he wrote Emily a few letters and there it was. Last summer we saw Emily a few times, but he had started seeing someone else. The boy was tall, taller than either one of us, a little like a door or something, and his hair was so blond that we were wondering if he was from Sweden. We called him Svensson. Sirius threw a few water balloons at him, so I guess he really liked Emily.

A blond who look likes a door? I guess Emily has quite bad taste when it comes to men.

Thanks for the encouraging words.

YOU don't need any encouraging, Potter, you're are ARROGANT and STUBBORN enough without it, believe me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Dear Head Girl and Head Boy,  
thank you very much for making arrangements for our Christmas Ball. Since I've already checked the plan made by you and the Prefects, I've been delighted to find out that there's nothing unsuitable there. Although the band of choice was quite extraordinary and, I have to admit, I had never heard of it, after discussing of it with the Headmaster I've decided to go with your plan as it is. The only thing I didn't approve was the magical mistletoes. No one wants to be chased after by one of them for all the evening. I'm sorry, James. In addition, I would like to remind you that as a Head girl and a Head boy your duty is to welcome the whole of school to the ball and also stay there all the evening. You are also to escort each other to the ball.

Minerva McGonagall

Lily Evans,  
you're most welcome to be my date at the Christmas Ball. I can assure you that the time we will spend together will definitely be extremely delightful and unforgettable. You are supposed to behave nicely and politely, have a suitable dress for the occasion and give your escort a good night kiss.  
Sincerely yours,  
your lovely date James Potter

Potter,  
what did you give Remus to make him write that? And don't bother wait for any good night kisses, 'cause you are getting none.

How did you know?

You couldn't be that polite even if you were sleeping. Or not ESPECIALLY when you're sleeping. Merlin, I don't even want to imagine what you do when you're sleeping! Well, what? I thought Remus was incorruptible.

He made it just for the goodness of his heart. Remus knows that you're secretly but fiercely in love with me and is just waiting for the day that you're gonna realize that, too.

Poor Remus. He'll have a long time waiting for that. Now, the truth, thanks.

Fuck, one should never like the girl who's the cleverest in her class. Well, Remus might be interested in asking a girl for the Christmas Ball and I have to try to find out if the girl is interested.

WHO IS THAT GIRL? And shouldn't Remus be the one who finds out?

Remus is shy. And I'm not telling you anything.

You already did.

Well, I'll tell nothing more. Be careful, Evans. Flitwick is going to think that you're not making notes. At least not from his teaching.

Prongs,  
EVANS DOESN'T LOOK ANGRY. What the fuck are you talking about?

Shut up, dog. Lily Evans hasn't tried to hex me since September, or at least not more than twice, and even then she apologized afterwards. Or didn't exactly but if she hadn't been that busy glaring at me and walking away, she would have apologized for sure. I can read her eyes. And in fact it's nothing you should know.

But you've begin to send notes with her almost EVERY DAY. Fuck, don't you realize what it means? Evans can't hate you!  
Padfoot

I've told you hundred times that Evans gonna get it eventually.  
Prongs

You've been wrong hundred times.

Well, she doesn't look angry, does she? You said so, not me.

Yeah, but there's a long way from not hating you to loving you. No offense. Aren't you tired, Prongs? Does your life feel empty? Boring? Would you prefer some change? New faces? How about a new girl? Last weekend me and Peter made a list containing the Hogwarts girls who we haven't tried yet and who should be tried before the school ends and our chances are lost forever, which of course means that we change school girls into REAL WOMEN. I can give you few names from that list, if you want to.

One name: Lily Evans. And what the heck has Peter to do with it? To my knowledge Pete and Rose are still doing whatever that "let's go to the corridor and have some snogging" is.

Don't be so fucking boring. They've been doing it since September. It's December. Wormtail needs a change.

Or you need a change.

I'm not brainwashing him. Peter is just smarter than a boy I happen to know, who gets stuck on one girl for years, even though the girl doesn't give a shit. Do you happen to know who I'm talking about?

My love life has nothing to do with you.

Because IT DOESN'T EXIST. No offense. You're still my best friend even though you're extremely boring when it comes to women, but you surely are gonna give it up eventually, aren't you? You're losing your best years when you could be chasing for women! Thanks to Merlin, you forgot Evans at least for the summer holidays (or tried to forget using suspicious methods, which is what Remus claims) and because of that you've got at least SOME experience about fire whiskey and wardrobes. But think about everything that you've lost! Hogwarts is full of girls and you're moaning over one annoying red-haired Lily Evans.

I CAN'T HELP IT! Yeah, I realize that Lily isn't the only one girl in the world but that information doesn't simply get into my brain. I just happen to be in love with her and that's it. And there's NOTHING I can do about it.

What if it's just about will power? Have you ever thought about it? What if you're just thinking that you're so in love with Evans and you don't believe you can get interested in anyone else even if a French exchange student asked you to kiss her and threw her shirt off? And you should just give up and admit that you don't have to be in love with Evans for the rest of your life. Then you could start living!

We haven't got any French exchange students and I don't really believe it's about will power. I've tried, haven't I? Think about Sophie last summer! And besides, you're beginning to sound exactly like Moony. What have you read? Or eaten? Or fucked?

Nothing! Well, I have, but it's it was almost two weeks ago, and I liked Moira Abbot FOR REAL. I told you. But this hasn't got anything to do with it. I just happened to listen, when Remus was trying to talk to me about your obsession. And non-existing French exchange student has nothing to do with this, either. Even though I might admit that Sophie was a good try. Merlin, I'm almost disappointed that you've got that obsession and you needed Sophie to get over it (which didn't work, but I'm not going into this again) because otherwise I would have taken her myself. Do you remember how we persuaded her to swim and it was still the beginning of the summer and the water was cold? And how she was screaming and then Moony began to think aloud that she was just shy and didn't dare to wear only her bikini, and when she finally took her clothes off? And afterwards I was trying to get some reaction out of you and you just said "quite nice". Well, if you really didn't notice, Sophie was anything but "quite nice". The girl was AWESOM. Did you happen to see those legs? I could have carried her away that same moment.

Carried? No change. You wouldn't have been able to.

You're wrong. I'm really good-fit. And you're just comparing her to Evans.

Have you seen Lily's back? Once she was wearing just a T-shirt while teaching me, and it was quite big, and her shoulder blades almost got out of her skin when she was trying to pick a pencil.

PRONGS! You're supposed to stare at her boobs, not some shoulder blades!

I saw only her back!

Well, her ass then. What should I do with you? You're just hopeless. And Evans might be quite skinny but that doesn't mean that Sophie should have been. If you're never going to stop comparing every girl to Evans, you're lost.

Not if I get Evans. I'm not gonna give up. That girl is gonna fall for me. Four months ago she didn't even smile to me! And now she does it, usually it's a mistake but who cares!

Yahoo. You're getting some mistake smiles from Evans while I'm snogging with Moira Abbot.

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING.

Potter,  
what are you talking about?  
Evans

Evans,  
nothing. You don't want to know. Believe me.

Potter,  
right. Sirius looks too happy so I believe you. And don't get too exited, believing you isn't going to become a habit. Do we have everything ready for the Christmas Ball?

Evans,  
I guess so. I can't figure out what we could have forgotten. Besides decorating, of course, but we're gonna take care of that in the evening before the ball, right?

Yes. And just that you know, I'm going to the ball with you just because McGonagall asked me to do it, and if you're waiting some good night kisses you have a long wait ahead of you, and any mistletoe isn't going to make me change my mind, even if they were hexed. Which, by the way, is forbidden. And if you and your friends do something that'll ruin the evening I won't be talking to you ever again. And Remus won't send your notes forward, either. And if you try to do anything I don't like, I'll hit you.  
Evans

Good to know.  
James

*

Lily,  
what's wrong with you?  
Alice

Alice,  
why?

Lily,  
you've been smiling the whole morning. No offense, but usually you start smiling only an hour after you've woken up. And you don't usually smile by yourself. Lily, you never smile by yourself. Do you remember telling me in the fourth grade how stupid it is? Well, you really look quite stupid.

Alice,  
sorry.

Wrong answer. You should be telling what's wrong with you. What were you doing last evening? Besides decorating the Great Hall with James? Is it possible, that your smiling has something to do with you decorating the Great Hall with James?! Lily!?!

No need to be so shocked. Potter just happens to be rather nice sometimes, when there aren't any other people to make sure that he acts like a jerk.

But it was yesterday evening! And you're still smiling! What an earth did you do there?

Nothing special. We just... Potter was trying to get the decorations to their places and ended up knotting himself with them and I had to release him. He was all red when I finally got him free. And he hexed some decorations to chase after me.

It sound's like you've had some fun. Does he still like you?

I guess. I don't know. Probably. But he's not making some unsuitable propositions all the time anymore. I guess he's got tired.

Or he's so happy because you started to speak with him that he doesn't want to ruin it right away. Do you like him?

WHAT? Alice Prewett, what's wrong with you? I DON'T like Potter in any other way than as a friend and that's not going to change. He can be tolerable sometimes, but he's still stupid and stubborn and egoistic and it took three months from him to make a proper Coloring Potion.

How is he stupid and stubborn and egoistic?

He's been trying to hit on me for the last five years and he still thinks that I'm going to fall for him. He thinks he's just so irresistible. And just think about all the problems he has caused and all the detentions he has gotten himself into!

He has been trying to hit on you five years and hasn't given up even though you have used all that time to belittle him. He must really like you. Doesn't it mean anything to you? And I guess that there really aren't so many girls who could resist him if he had been interested in them as long as he's been interested in you. Or can you claim that he's not good-looking?

Alice, are YOU in love with Potter?

No. And don't you try to change the subject. Don't you think he's good-looking?

Well, he's not bad-looking, either. I mean, if he just kept his hand off that hair of his, it could be quite nice. And a few times he had has a T-shirt while I've been teaching him, and T-shirts happen to be quite flimsy, so it wasn't really my fault and I didn't mean to look at… but he has quite a nice back.

HA!

What? Alice?!

You've got a thing for boys' backs! Don't you even try to deny it! Or should I remind you what happened when we saw Sirius Black first time without a shirt, in third grade? And you were talking about his shoulder blades? SHOULDER BLADES, when I and Mary and Helen were just staring at his stomach!

There's nothing bad with shoulder blades, and Sirius Black's stomach is nothing special.

Sirius Black has the best stomach at the whole school. I'm sorry, there was a ballot, don't you remember?

I'd like not to remember.

ALICE PREWETT,  
HAS THERE BEEN A BALLOT ABOUT MY STOMACH MUSCLES? DID I WIN?  
SIRIUS "THE STOMACH" BLACK

Black,  
what the fuck are you doing? Stealing other's notes?

Prewett,  
show some gratitude. I saved your note one second before McGonagall would have got it. Well, of course I knew that you all love my stomach, but I didn't know that you love it SO MUCH. When was the ballot? Before or after last summer?

Black,  
why do you care?

Prewett,  
this has nothing to do with you, but my stomach is so great because of very careful amount of sheer work (not to forget excellent natural characteristics), but if you happened to vote before last summer, I can assure you that my stomach is nowadays even better. What else can you expect if one has to spend all the summer in Potters' place watching James snogging delicious vampire?

Black,  
the ballot was held about a year ago, so that if you have had some process with it, you should probably show us.

Prewett,  
you keep your dreams to yourself. My stomach is private.

Black,  
and what are you doing with it? Looking at the mirror? Stroking?

Prewett,  
if I want to have my stomach stroked, I have other people to do it, thank you for asking.

Potter,  
WHAT VAMPIRE?  
Evans

Evans,  
WHAT WHAT?  
Potter

Potter,  
VAMPIRE. The one you were SNOGGING with last summer. Sirius sent a note to Alice saying that he had nothing to do but improve his stomach muscles, because you spent all the summer snogging with a "delicious vampire". Who is that? And don't you realize that vampires are DANGEROUS? Even you can't be so stupid that you'd fall for one!

Evans,  
breathe. I haven't fallen for any vampire, if you don't happen to count yourself as one. And Sirius meant probably Sophie Adams, who isn't vampire at all, but who didn't get any color to her skin in the whole summer, and in August Sirius began to call her a vampire. Personally I think that it wasn't because of her skin color but the fact that Sirius would have wanted to be connected with her neck, if I hadn't happened to see her first. What a cruel world. Sirius had a SERIOUS thing for Sophie's legs.

Potter,  
has Sirius things for girls' LEGS? I have always thought that he's not able to get his eyes that low. No offense, but I've heard quite a lot rumors saying that Sirius has a habit of talking about thirty centimeters lower from a girl's face. Gravitation, I guess. And how can it be that you spent the last summer snogging some girl that Sirius finds delicious and whose legs he loves, and you told me nothing?!

Evans,  
you have told me about thousand times that you don't want to know anything about me. Besides, I just had some fun with her, it was nothing serious, and in fact Sirius is the one who told afterwards having wanted to carry her away right away. I guess I have to tell Sirius that the girls have realized why he's talking with them. Maybe he won't bother pretend anymore and goes straight to the point.

Potter,  
how was it not serious? If Sirius liked her so much that would have risked his own poor arm muscles? And what did she look like?

Evans,  
ARE YOU JEALOUS?

Potter,  
am not. I just want to know how little your brain is and if its smallness could surprise me anymore. Besides, we will be Head Girl and Head Boy for the whole term and if you have some strange perversions, I want to know about them before we start to patrol together.

Evans,  
Sophie was a little bit taller than you and a bit bigger than you, too. She had light brown hair and blue eyes, and Sirius loved her legs. And I never really fell for her. She just happened to be there and it was summertime and I tried not to think about you and have some fun and I and I wanted to irritate Sirius.

Potter,  
so you used poor Sophie.

Evans,  
Sophie didn't write me once since that summer. She was probably just happy getting away from me.

Potter,  
so she has to be intelligent.

Evans,  
I just told you I was seeing a cute, nice girl, whom Sirius would have wanted to pack to his luggage and bring with him, and I did it just to get you out of my head, and then you're INSULTING me?

Potter,  
how did I insult you?

Evans,  
you said me that Sophie was intelligent to want to get rid of me.

Oh, I'm surprised. You're cleverer than I thought.

Evans,  
what did you vote?

??!?!?!?

About Sirius' stomach. What did you vote?

I'm not sure.

LILY!

I guess I was against it. I don't remember. And what would you do with that information? If you're thinking that I could ever fall for Sirius, you should flush your head down the toilet. Sirius would be almost as bad a choice as you.

Thanks, Evans. The lesson's almost over. Common room half past six?

WHAT?

The Christmas Ball, Evans. Tonight. You're going to be my date only because McGonagall made you to do it. Remember? I just thought that it would be better to meet somewhere beforehand.

If we meet in the common room, everyone sees that we're going together.

Evans,  
we are supposed to welcome everyone and be there all the evening. Together.

Oh. Well. Half past six is fine. And you'll have plenty of time to do something with your hair.

PRONGS?! DID YOU HEAR THAT GIRLS HAD A BALLOT ABOUT MY STOMACH?

Evans,  
me and my hair are just fine, thanks for asking. See you half past six. Now I probably have to do something to calm down Sirius.

Potter,  
good luck with it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Merry Christmas, Lily!

May your Christmas be as red as your hair! May all the Christmas decorations be good to you! May all the things because of which you love the writer of this letter come to your mind! May it also occur to you that because of peaceful Christmas you can't answer this by sending a Howler!

Yours,  
James

--------------

Merry Christmas, Potter,

and thanks for the Christmas card. Mum read it and she and my dad had a serious discussion about if it's safe to let me go back to Hogwarts. I told them that I'm not interested in you at all. Fortunately they stopped dreading that my stomach would be three times bigger before the summer. Now they're afraid that you're some hooligan or rapist who's just waiting for to make them grandparents before they turn fifty. So thanks to you for making my parents paranoid.

I hope there's more snow there than here. Try not to get suffocated by Christmas decorations. Or food. And tell Sirius that according to Alice he has to practice about hundred hours before all the Christmas Pudding has disappeared from his stomach.

Lily Evans

--------------

Hi Lily,

don't be too shocked but as you can see I can write something else than those notes, too. At first, I was planning to just write them, put them into the envelope and send to you, but Sirius claimed that you wouldn't be able to decide in which order they should be read. Then I thought I could make numbers to them, you know, number one should be read first and then number two and so on, but Sirius said that you wouldn't bother to arrange them to the right order. And mum said that I should probably write a real letter, and because my mom was in love with my dad three years before she got him, she should know.

Remus checked the grammar, but it was seven o'clock in the morning at the time and we had been celebrating the previous night because there were only three hundred sixty days before the next Christmas and because there weren't any other people in Godric's Hollow (my parents claimed they had to go and visit my aunt, but I'll bet they just wanted to escape) so please be kind and don't blame Remus.

Peter broke up with Rose. He left her just after the Christmas. We thought it was cruel, but he said he couldn't have left her during the Christmas, because it would have been much crueler. And before Christmas he couldn't do it, because he had promised to take Rose to the Christmas Ball, and before it he didn't even want to leave her, but now he says that he just isn't interested in her anymore. Me and Remus are irritated (notice this: me to) but Sirius is satisfied. He's seen Emily (you know, the girl he could have maybe really fallen for) and Emily is engaged, nowadays, so Sirius speaks about how one shouldn't get stuck with just one girl even more than usual. Bearing in mind that this is probably going to be longest letter I've ever written in my whole life, I think he has a point.

We had a pretty ordinary Christmas. Sirius ate quite a lot of pudding. Afterwards I showed him the card you sent me and he panicked and exercised quite a lot. Next day we had bad difficulties with getting him away from the bed, because he just kept complaining how his stomach muscles hurt. By the way, he told me to tell you that you should be careful, because he's not sure if I have hiding abilities of becoming a hooligan, and you should be careful while we're patrolling in the corridors together. Peter and Remus are still trying to make his nose stop bleeding, because mum isn't at home. I didn't even know that I was that strong.

How do they usually finish letters? I don't know if I've ever done it.

James

--------------

Potter,

you shouldn't really punch Sirius if he just happens to say some things that probably are very true, I mean those things about you being a potential hooligan. I hope Sirius won't die. Otherwise half of the girls in Hogwarts will pay someone to kill me for destroying their chances for Sirius. Personally I just don't get what's so special on him. And feel free to tell this to him. I guess his pride is still unusually high after that thing with ballot and stomach muscles.

Rose looked quite sad in the Christmas Ball. Peter should spend more time with Remus or you than with Sirius. Maybe it would save him from the Sirius' bad influence. I can't get what's wrong with Sirius and his stupid ideas of recycling girls, and about Rose and Peter I'm sorry for real. I guess Rose really looked like she had a crush on Peter.

Do you happen to have my bracelet? I think I dropped it when we were walking outside in the Christmas Ball, you know, a little before the clock was eleven, and I guess you lifted the bracelet for me but now I can't find it anywhere. And I don't really trust on my memories and speaking of which, I HAVEN'T FORGIVEN YOU, JAMES POTTER, THAT YOU ADDED FIRE WHISKEY TO THE PUNCH. It was stupid and thoughtless and childish and not intelligent at all and McGonagall was just right giving two weeks of detention to you four. In fact I was kind of waiting something like that from you, but I can't understand how you got Remus to help you. You should have taken you own drinks with you and not try to poison all the others, too. Merlin, James, there were FOURTH YEAR STUDENTS there!

And I'm shocked that the girl Remus liked was ALICE. Afterwards it feels quite reasonable, but when Alice told me that you had asked her what she would have answered if Remus had asked her to escort him, and she had said "no", I was quite shocked. I thought Remus liked someone else. Alice is my best friend! And you didn't bother to tell me! But I'm sorry for Remus, even though I guess Alice isn't. Her parents had invited the Longbottoms for a visit for Christmas, and I'm sure you remember Frank Longbottom? Alice has been talking about him quite a lot, but don't you dare to tell this anyone.

Tell Sirius that I'm gonna laugh my head off when he realizes that the puddings have destroyed his precious stomach and Thomas Avery beats him in a ballot.

Lily

--------------

Lily,

why would AVERY beat Sirius in a ballot? Do you have something personal going on with Avery's stomach muscles? Didn't you just tell me that you haven't got anyone else in your mind? You need to tell me, because if I can't get you, I still won't let you go to Hogsmeade with some Thomas Avery. And Sirius has been jogging every morning so you can tell Alice that she doesn't need to be worried about the puddings. Besides, I guess his stomach muscles are beginning to be more intelligent than he himself is. Or at least Remus was thinking something like that yesterday and it sounded so intelligent that I decided to put it to this letter.

I'm quite perplexed that you even answered me. Are you being polite? Or do you hate me a little less than before? Would you visit us for New Year's Eve? (I'm now laughing, because you can't surely try to hex me for making propositions, because there's about hundred kilometers between us.) Remus told me to ask you by letter and not at school, because lately you've made some improvement with aiming. Sirius and Peter told me not to ask at all and instead pick up one of the angels from the play we were watching in the town. I told them to go to hell. Sirius and Peter, I mean, not the angels. The angels were rather pretty, actually.

I'm not gonna tell Remus that Alice has set her eyes on Longbottom. Remus would think that he's not good enough, because he hasn't got that kind of a stomach and I've had enough of friends worshipping their stomachs.

What, didn't you like fire whiskey? Don't you even try to deny, I saw how you smelled the punch and frowned and then drank anyway. You surely realized that there was some fire whiskey in it, but you didn't want to throw a fit forehand, because otherwise you wouldn't have been able to drink it. Nonetheless, you, Lily Evans, should sometimes send your intelligent brain to a little holiday sometimes and enjoy yourself. You don't have to be that tense all the time, no offense, you know I like you anyway but you are a little tense. You could use a little bit relaxing. And a little amount of fire whiskey has never killed anyone. Well, I heard that Moira Abbot ended up inside a little wardrobe with Sirius but you don't need to be worried about anything like that. If you were going to go to a wardrobe with Sirius, I would stop it even though you were half dead.

I have your bracelet. Sorry. I wasn't supposed to steal it, but when you asked, I went to check out the pockets of my robe and there it was. I guess I meant to give it to you, when I picked it from the ground, but I guess you fell at the same moment and I went with you and maybe I put it into my pocket because, to be honest, the bracelet wasn't exactly was I was thinking then.

Why are you sorry for Rose but not for me? I've liked you five years and you've turned me down about TEN THOUSAND times! Rose has liked Pete about five MONTHS and she's been turned down only ONCE.

James

--------------

Potter,

so I should feel sorry for you? After being chased after five years by you, even though I've clearly told you that I'm not interested? Or is it my fault? Do you think I can be interested in anyone I want to? And I don't definitely mean that I would like to be interested in you, but even though I'd like to, it wouldn't work that way. Well, I can feel sorry for you in a very distant way, but I still think that you should have given up. Why the heck have you kept on? Do you have to prove to someone that you don't give up? Or can't you just stand being turned down?

And, of course, I answered to you. Someone has to be an adult here and being responsible includes answering to the letters. Besides, I couldn't have not answered when Remus had done such a great work and checked the grammar of the letter you sent me. Sometimes I'm really wondering what Remus is doing with you. Other than when it came to the fire whiskey and punch. And if this has come to an issue again, no, I don't hate you, Potter, I just dislike you. Though you may be tolerable when you're hundred kilometers away or when you aren't acting like a complete idiot. I hate you only when I have to hex you. And when I end up being in a detention because of you.

And no, I'm not interested in Avery, but I've heard some rumors telling that he's got quite a stomach. Personally, I don't fancy stomachs so much. And you're being rude to him just because he's Slytherin, so try to behave a little. In addition, I'm not tense at all and, what's more important, I'm not incapable on relaxing or having fun, as you claimed, nor have I anything against alcohol, but it doesn't belong to the school. I can very well drink a glass of fire whiskey with Alice on Saturday night but I'm not going to get drunk in school ball especially when I'm in fact actually responsible for the whole event with a boy, who himself happens to be drunk himself and whose ability of thinking isn't any good even when he's sober. So, next time when you're trying to add something to the punch, please at least try to think a little.

I don't remember falling to the ground and I don't especially remember you falling with me. Merlin, this is exactly why I hate fire whiskey. I want to REMEMBER things, don't you get it? Or at least things that mean something. I have to remember if I have to be ashamed of something afterwards or if I can act normally. It's important.

I'm not visiting you for the New Year's Eve. I'm sorry. Mum has invited some cousins that haven't seen me in five years.

Lily

--------------

HAPPY NEW YER LILY EVANS! I'L SEND YOU A LETTER LATER! PADS GONNA EAT A WHOLE CHICKEN! I LOVE YOU LILY EVNS!  
FOREVER YORS JAMES POTTER

--------------

Lily,

if you haven't got a letter in a brown envelope yet, please burn the envelope without opening it. I'll answer your letter a little later. Now I have to go to puke.

James

--------------

Potter,

I got both your brown envelope and the later message, in which you're desperately trying to make me believe that there's something else than sheer air between your two ears. Don't worry, I already knew you've gone nuts. I'm happy to hear that you had a nice New Year's Eve. I hope Sirius is still alive. The chicken apparently isn't.

Lily

--------------

Lily,

the chicken died before Christmas. Mum bought it thinking that if all the relatives we haven't invited come anyway, we can feed them with the chicken. Well, they didn't come. We had a nice New Year's Eve, thanks for asking. Mum and dad went to see grandma about seven o'clock and we swore that the house will be there when they come back. All four of us were here, because Sirius would have been here anyway and Remus and Peter wanted to come, too. Emily's boyfriend bought us some bottles full of something that Muggles like to drink, and none of us knew how effective that was, so just in case we drank quite a lot, besides Remus, of course, who tried to be careful and didn't drink at all. Little before midnight Sirius got hungry and ate the chicken. It was quite amazing. I'm happy you didn't see it.

I haven't got much to tell you about the rest of the night. Emily had had a fight with his fiancé and she came to us a little after the midnight, and Sirius was already on a bad mood because of the chicken, so we knew that there wasn't anything good to come. Or at least Remus knew, me and Peter weren't sober enough to think that clearly. I'm not sure what Sirius and Emily did in the cellar. I'm quite sure Sirius can't be in love with Emily anymore. Remus claims that he was just trying to revenge her that he fell for her in the first place. I don't exactly get it. He liked Emily a few months and I've liked you many years. If Remus is right, shouldn't I be cutting my head off or something?

After Sirius and Emily had disappeared we didn't have so much fun. Peter missed Rose (yes, you read right, he has began to think that he really likes Rose, but now Rose doesn't want anything to do with him) and I missed you and Remus couldn't lift the spirit, because he was so sleepy. So, in the end our New Year's Eve was quite dull. And I'm sorry about that brown envelope. I have no idea what I put there, but Remus laughed at me quite much, when I realized that I had sent it. I'm gonna pretend that it didn't happen at all? Damn it, I feel like a bludger had had a crash with my head.

Well, I get it that you aren't planning to feel sorry for me. Remus and Peter agreed with you. They think you should be the one to feel sorry for because I've been chasing after you for years and you haven't liked it. But please, could you tell me that even once or twice you would have been happy with me trying to hit on you? At least a little? Have I been just terrible? I'm quite sure that if I wasn't stuck on you, someone could probably like me.

And I have no idea, why I have kept on liking you, but I can assure you that I'm NOT trying to prove ANYTHING to ANYONE. And I have no idea why I fell for you in the first place, Evans. Maybe it was your hair, or your annoying voice, or maybe you just were so stubborn. Anyway, I can't get you out of my head. It's not my fault. And what the fuck should I have been doing all these years? Sitting somewhere thinking whether I should speak to you? I'm not that kind of a person! I want to make things happen and not to wait if they might happen by themselves!!

Fuck. I guess I'm going to regret sending you this letter. If I can send this. If I find the owl. I guess it got frightened when Sirius ate that chicken.

James

--------------

Potter,

I'm not going to tell you what was on that note you sent me, but I can assure that there's nothing shocking in there. In fact, it was quite similar to one you sent me when you were on third grade and drunk for the first time.

I won't say anything about your New Year's Eve. Sirius was VERY IRRESPONSIBLE and the rest of you were very irresponsible letting Sirius be irresponsible. I hope Peter is going to give Rose some space so that she can get a boyfriend, who doesn't have anything to do with Sirius Black. I can't understand how anyone could date any of you. You've ruined each other.

I had a very responsible New Year's Eve, thank you very much. My cousins were visiting us and they didn't understand anything I was talking about and, in fact, weren't interested in anything I was talking about, and eventually I told them I was going to go to sleep, then went into my room, locked up the door, opened the window and sat there looking at the stars. It was kind of nice, though. And the next morning I woke up before nine and felt quite good.

The school starts tomorrow, so I'm not going to write any longer. Have fun with your two weeks' "fire whiskey in the punch" detention.

And you weren't that terrible. At least you aren't anymore. Sometimes you were. Didn't you ever think that it wasn't so nice being in the centre of that big amount of attention? Everyone was staring, and all your friends were staring, and when I was in third grade I had a small crush on Remus and it wasn't nice at all. And then I got used to you trying to hit on me and it just began to be just annoying. But you weren't terrible, unless you were teasing someone who was smaller than you or who was Snape. That's still terrible, James Potter. But I can admit that you weren't terrible just because you liked me and told it to me.

Lily

-------------

**A/N:** If you're reading, please let me know what you're thinking :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Lily,  
what happened in Christmas holiday?  
Alice

Alice,  
why?

Lily,  
you smile to James. A lot. It looks like you've begun to like him instead of hating him.

Alice,  
no offense but you have quite good imagination. Potter is TOLERABLE and RATHER NICE, but I definitely don't have a crush on him.

I didn't say you had. Did you visit Potters' in the holiday? Why didn't you mention it?

Because I didn't. He just sent me a Christmas card and I sent him one, too, and then he wrote me a letter and I wrote him back etc.

You wrote to James?

It wasn't as strange as it sounds, really. I guess Remus checked the grammar, and James wrote just fine. Besides, I had nothing else to do.

I don't understand why you have to claim that you don't like him.

I don't have a crush on him.

But you like him. I'm not talking about having a crush, I'm talking about liking and you definitely like him. You're talking to him more than to me.

Well, we are Head Girl and Head Boy. I cannot avoid talking to him. And I'm tired of talking about this all the time. I have nothing else to say about James and that's that.

Did you have fun at Christmas Ball? We didn't have that much time to talk in the next morning.

Alice,  
you REFUSED to talk. You were sitting in the toilet trying to think how you could make you eyes look less tired before going home. Besides, you were complaining about headache and didn't want to talk. And there was nothing to say. I was with James all the evening.

Nothing to say?! What did you do? What were you talking about? Where were you? Was he a good dancer?

We didn't do anything special! We spent the most of the time in the Great Hall making sure that everything was going fine, you know, that there was enough food for everyone and the decorations didn't kill anyone and that no one got any nightmares and things like that. We didn't talk about anything special, and you also danced with James.

One dance. It doesn't count. Did you like dancing with him? Was he better than Sirius? I didn't dance with Sirius at all. And where were you, when you got out of the hall?

I was dancing with Sirius when the most of the people had already gone and Sirius wasn't so intelligent companion anymore. I mean he was even more out of his head than usually. We were dancing, and, well, he was quite good. He had self-confidence. He danced well even though he couldn't walk straight. But still I preferred James. I know him better and Sirius is kind of… suspicious.

Lily Evans,  
you just said that you know James well and that Sirius is suspicious.

Alice Prewett,  
if you're trying to say that I would be interested in James Potter, I'm not going to tolerate it. Besides, McGonagall looks like she's ready to give me the second detention in my whole life if I don't stop sending notes with you, and I'm not going to tolerate that, either. We can talk more later, if you are ready to look the truth into the eyes by then.

Lily Evans,  
you are the one who can't admit the truth.

Alice Prewett,  
go to hell with your Frank.

Lily Evans,  
I'd love to.

--------------

Potter,  
have we gotten old?

Evans,  
do you still think about those third-grades? No, we're just adults and they are teenagers, who can't do anything to control their hormones. YOU could never get old, I swear.

Potter,  
why? And what's wrong with the world? Children in the third grade weren't that bad when we were young! McGonagall would have had a heart attack!

Your mental age is like thirty years or something, Evans, and you aren't getting any older. I promise. And didn't you ever have a detention where you had to sort out Filch's files? Oh, you never had a detention! Believe me, Filch has thousands of files full of everything the pupils have done, and quite many of those involve two people doing something with each other. And seventh-graders never get caught.

How I am thirty? Potter?! And do you seriously claim that THIRD-GRADERS have a habit of having sex in the Quidditch-players' dressing rooms? Why an earth did we even go there? When I was thirteen, I was STUDYING. Or talking. Or playing some game. Or went for a walk. I didn't definitely do anything that would have caused McGonagall a heart attack or my mom to have grandchildren. Third-graders are so young!

No need to be sad, Evans. Moony thinks you're at least forty five years old, so that my opinion isn't the worst of all. And your mental age is the consequence of you having no idea what third-graders usually do. Or forth-graders. Or fifth-graders. And you also had your first detention when you were seventeen. And last weekend you didn't go to Hogsmeade for some fire whiskey with us. And have you really forgotten, why we went to check out the dressing rooms? Because I told you so! Merlin, I play Quidditch! Of course I know what those dressing rooms are used for.

Potter,  
does this mean that YOU have done something unsuitable in the dressing room? I can't understand you at all. What's so great about the dressing rooms? Besides, they SMELL! And I didn't leave for Hogsmeade with you because I saw enough drunk Sirius for a lifetime in the Christmas Ball, and the chicken thing in the New Year's Eve didn't really help. Furthermore, we would have got detention, if we had got caught.

It's a pity, you lost a lot. Sirius tried to hit on Rosmerta. Of course, it's not uncommon, but this time he looked like he was serious. I think he really liked Emily, even though he would never admit it. He has been even more, well, unbalanced than usually, since the New Year's Eve when he ended up in our cellar with Emily. Did I mention that next morning Emily said good bye and went back to his fiancé? And about those dressing rooms: how many peaceful places do you find in Hogwars? The Astronomy Tower is surely great but you never get to be there alone, and we and Prefects and McGonagall and Filch always check it always first. The most of the pupils know nothing of the secret passages, in the toilets one can't have a privet moment from Peeves and teachers go to the classrooms quite often even in the evenings. But the dressing rooms are private, peaceful and nice.

Where can they, well, do it? On the floor? Under the bench?

Or on the bench, or in the shower stall, or in the wardrobe, or against the wall. And some people like to do it under the Quidditch auditorium. I find it quite depressing, having a few hundred kilos wood above your head and so on, and besides I've heard rumors that some one has got lost there and disappeared. But if you like it private, go ahead.

IN THE SHOWER STALL?!

Evans,  
don't you have any imagination?

Not when it comes to this! What kind of a person wants to fuck with someone in the shower stall?! In the dressing room of the Quidditch players?!!

A desperate one?

Got some experience, Potter?

That's private, Evans.

Alice,  
James has slept with someone in the shower stall of the dressing room of the Quiddich players.

Lily,  
WHAT? How do you know?

He told me. Or he didn't exactly say it but I can read between the lines.

Or maybe he wants you to think that he has done it? Even tough I can't understand what for. And why do you even care? You aren't even interested in him!

But what if, and this is definitely theoretical "what if", WHAT IF I was interested in him, how could I be, if he has slept with someone in the dressing room? IN THE DRESSING ROOM? What kind of a human being does that?

A desperate one?

Damn it, you're beginning to sound like him.

Are you really shocked because of that place? Think about it, Lily. There aren't too many options when you're at school. And the shower stall is... clean. Hygienic. He could have chosen worse. Or maybe you're shocked about the idea that he's done it with someone?

Evans,  
what are you and Alice talking about? Why did you stop writing to me? Sirius tries to make me discuss about Ada Thoene's breasts and I definitely don't want to, so I have to look busy. HELP!  
James

Potter,  
the discussion between me and Alice has nothing to do with you, and besides it's much more intelligent than anything you've said today. IN THE DRESSING ROOM?! And wasn't Sirius supposed to have a thing for legs, not breasts? And why don't you want to talk about Ada?  
Lily

Evans,  
you can't suppose that I would talk with Sirius about some random girl's breasts during the lesson. Flitwik would hang me from my ear, if he catches me. Sirius isn't picky, so he likes both legs and breasts. And I don't think the discussion between you and Alice is anymore intelligent than ours was.

Why not?

Because Sirius claims that he read one note when Alice wasn't watching it and it said that you're thinking, how you could be interested in someone who has had sex on a shower stall.

SIRIUS BLACK,  
KEEP YOUR UGLY NOSE OUT OF MY BUSINESS OR IT WON'T EXIST MUCH LONGER.  
LILY EVANS

Lily Evans,  
my nose is just beautiful and is feeling well and will be in the future, and it's not my fault if you talk about your personal life with Alice Prewett and she's not good enough keeping interesting information from me. Besides, because my best friend has desperately fallen in love with you, it's very important for me to know what you're thinking about his sex habits.

Black,  
fuck you.  
Evans

Evans,  
I'd prefer if you fucked James instead of me.  
Sirius

Black,  
I'm not gonna answer that.  
Lily Evans

Potter,  
HABITS?!!?  
Evans

Evans,  
what?

Sirius says that he needs to know what I'm thinking about your sex habits. Do you have sex habits involving THE SHOWER STALLS?

Evans,  
since when have you listened Sirius?

Since now.

Well, stop it before you're dead. Why are you interested in that, anyway?

Because you've been chasing after me for five years and sworn at least fifty times that you love me. Of course I knew all the time that you were exaggerating, but it's the whole different thing from when you're trying to hit on someone and at the same time are in a habit of doing IT in the DRESSING ROOM.

I haven't got any HABITS. Maybe one or two times I've done something that my mother wouldn't like to know about, but not in the dressing room, if that's what you think. Evans, look at the mirror, you love drama.

But isn't it weird to have sex with someone else than the one you fancy?

What are you trying to say?

Remus,  
why don't men ever understand anything?  
Lily

Lily,  
James isn't a man yet. And it depends on what are you trying to explain to him, but I can give a little piece of advice: say it as simply as possible.

Remus,  
damn it. Thanks.

Evans,  
what did you say to Remus? And do you really want to know if I like you really even though I haven't lived like a pope?

Evans?? Evans??!?

Lily,  
you're blushing.  
Best wishes, Alice

Alice,  
shut up.  
Lily

Potter,  
well, kind of, yes. And this is just a philosophical question.

Evans,  
I don't like philosophy. I've been in love with you five years and all the time you've mainly been trying to get me to the grave as soon as possible. You can't possibly think that I wouldn't have had anything with anyone else. But it has happened mainly in the summer when you've been far away enough to be almost forgotten, and when you've been away there has only been Sirius and his bad influence and some fire whiskey and the warm summer nights.

Okay.

Evans?

What?

How about you?

Potter,  
my private life doesn't belong to you at all.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the review! :) It's great to know that someone's reading :)

------------

**Chapter 6**

Miss Evans,  
thank you for instructing James Potter with the noble art of Potions. After a careful discussion with professor McGonagall I've come to the conclusion that extra teaching is not required anymore. Since it is already February, I'm sure you are both busy trying to prepare for your N.E.W.T. –exams, and because mister Potter has shown some noticeable improvement with Potions, you are free to leave his teaching to me from now on. Thank you.  
Horatius Slughorn

Evans,  
this is kind of sad.

Potter,  
what? The fact, that you've got two more hours every week to get new detentions?

Evans,  
that's not fair. I haven't had a detention for a month. Besides, the only reason why I'm sad is that for now on I have to cope without my personal teacher. You've got some real pros compared to Slughorn.

Potter,  
what are my pros?

Evans,  
we should celebrate. Sirius has a date tonight (I guess he mentioned something about dressing rooms, but don't think about that) and Peter and Remus are planning to play Wizard Chess 'till one of them is dead. I guess it's gonna be one bloody game so that I should probably go somewhere. We can go to Hogsmeade.

Potter,  
students aren't permitted to Hogsmeade on their own. It's forbidden for a good reason. We would get detention if we got caught.

Evans,  
we won't get caught. No one will see us.

Potter,  
what're you planning? Make me drink until I'm drunk? Prove that you're my mum's nightmare?

Evans,  
if your mum's having dreams of me, they are certainly great. I'm the dream boyfriend for every girl. You just don't get it. And you don't have to drink yourself 'till you're under the table if you don't want to. We can just go there, buy some butterbeer, I can try to make you drink a little more and you can punch me and deny apology and even after fifteen minutes I'm still bleeding, and in the end we would come back and you would be in your own bed before it's even midnight.

Potter,  
promise?

Evans,  
no. Don't you have any curiosity in your nice little head? Any mood for adventure? Recklessness? Sheer stupidity? Don't you want to prove to anyone that you're fully capable of sneaking out of the castle in the middle of the week and drink until you're wasted?

No.

Evans!

Well. But I'm not any fun company. I'm probably extremely boring and you'll regret the whole thing and hope that you'd have anyone else with you.

EVANS?! DID YOU JUST SAYED YES?!!!

James Potter,  
if you are incapable of concentrating on the lesson, you are free to continue in a detention.  
Professor McGarmiwa

--------------

Prongs,  
where the heck were you yesterday evening? You missed the match of the whole century! Peter won, I know, I never believed he would but he did and, Merlin, I'm SO proud of him, Remus is so much more difficult to beat than either one of us. And his nose was still bleeding almost fifteen minutes after the match and Remus still wouldn't go to the Hospital Wing. He just wasn't able to admit that he had lost. I was laughing my head off.

Padfoot,

didn't you have a date with Abbot?

Prongs,  
if you really have to know, yes, I had but Abbot didn't appear. And you still haven't told me where you were.

You won't believe.

Try me.

I was in Hogsmeade. With Lily.

Lily who?

Lily Evans, dog.

Moony,  
is James sick? Do you think he's got fever?  
Sirius

Sirius,  
he looks fine to me. Why?  
Remus

Moony,  
he claims that he's taken Lily to Hogsmeade.

Pads,  
I told you that you wouldn't believe me. But I was serious. We went to celebrate because Slughorn thinks I'm good enough to survive without my personal instructor in potions and Lily doesn't have to teach me anymore, and even though it's very sad, really, I guess I'll be able to stand it because it gave me YESTERDAY EVENING.  
James

Sirius,  
OH MERLIN. LILY'S GOING TO GIVE UP.  
Remus

James,  
are you sure? You weren't dreaming or anything? Do you know that you're often quite convinced of your dreams being real, and they usually involve Evans? Or at least if one can suppose anything from the voices you make. Like mumbling. Moaning. Snuffling.  
Sirius

Padfoot,  
shut up. We left at seven, Lily was quite chocked when I showed her Invisibility Cloak and the secret passage but she didn't try to punch me or anything. We went straight to Three Broomsticks had some butter beer and then I ordered one fire whiskey. Lily didn't want any at first but after half an hour she let me buy one for her, too.

James,  
YOU GOT EVANS DRUNK? FINALLY!!

No, dog. And she didn't even drink that much because in the end I drank the most of her drink, too. And she wasn't really wasted. Her eyes could focus extremely well. She was just a little more relaxed than usually. Laughed more. Smiled more. Forgot a few times to pretend that he hates me.

I thought she had forgotten that many... months ago.

Not totally. She's still sometimes extremely thorny and I never know what I've done wrong, so I usually assume that it's because she really used to think she hated me and she has still has some problems remembering that she likes me.

What happened? Yesterday?

We were sitting on a bench near Three Broomsticks and talked a little. Before midnight we came back to the castle and Lily went straight to the bed.

JAMES!! I'm serious!

Nothing happened! Keep your pants on, Pads, Lily isn't just a piece of cake like your girls seem to be.

They aren't easy, I'm just irresistible. DIDN'T YOU EVEN KISS HER?!

I don't want to talk to you anymore. LILY EVANS was with me in Hogsmeade without permission from any of the professors and you just keep on going about some kissing!!!

You didn't kiss her!?! James, do you realize what kind of a chance you've just lost?!

Well, like forcing her to kiss me? Practically ask her to bite my head off?

You're such a jerk. Evans was in Hogsmeade. With you. Evans, Prongs, Evans! The same Evans who has been claiming that she hates you. If she admits liking you it's like she's telling you she's in love with you.

Have you been talking with Remus again?

That's not fair! I've got my own brain, too, even though I give them more than Moony gives to his! But think about it! What're the odds that Evans tells you honestly what she's thinking about you? Of course she's telling that she doesn't dislike you as much as she used to, but that's bullshit, because for real she's in love with you. You have to do something.

Like what?

Merlin, James! You weren't that helpless when it came to Sophie! You have to SNOGG Evans, push her against the wall or something else that makes her realize that she's in love with you!

That's not gonna work.

Coward.

I like all my body parts, especially the one Lily would hex off first, if I pushed her against the wall like you just suggested.

Well, do SOMETHING! You've been moaning after Evans five years and I'm beginning to get bored watching it. I really don't like you wasting all your best years, and if you have wasted them for nothing, I'll be even more pissed off. Besides, the school's gonna end in four months and where are you going to see Evans then?

Evans,  
can I be your partner in Potions? Please? I know I have learned more than ever this year but I really need to get some mental support at first, or otherwise I'll mess everything up and Slughorn thinks I'm hopeless.  
James

Potter,  
right. But I'm doing this only because Alice is so excited about the chance to be Sirius' partner, even though she already has Longbottom. I don't really understand her. If someone asked me, I would say that Alice's thinking only Sirius' stomach.

Evans,  
whatever, as long as you don't.

Potter,  
I wouldn't bother to even think about Sirius' stomach.

Evans,  
see you in Potions.

Prongs,  
I don't know if you got it, but I didn't mean that you should dump me because of Evans.  
Padfoot

Pads,  
don't worry. You'll get Alice. I'm sure you'll find more pleasure from her from me.

------------

Potter,  
try to concentrate. Slughorn is watching us carefully enough. You don't have to look like you have no idea what you're doing.

Evans,  
I don't have any reason to pretend. You could do this even if you were sleeping.

I guess it's best if you go back to Sirius tomorrow. I'm afraid Alice will forget poor Frank if she gets any nearer to Sirius' stomach muscles, and besides, I think you learn much more if there's no one to correct your mistakes.

Okay. If Sirius admits to have me back. Where's shit grass?

It's lit grass, Potter.

Sorry.

POTTER? WHAT IS YOUR HAND DOING?

Why?

YOUR HAND IS TOUCHING MY KNEE.

Sorry.

TAKE IT AWAY.

No need to blow your top, Evans.

Fuck you. Of course I'll blow my top! I'm supposed to make this Potion and save if from you. At the same time. I can't really focus on doing it if your hand is on my leg.

What's wrong with it? Are you afraid of my hand? I can assure you that my hand is very innocence. Blame the head.

I AM blaming your head, Potter. It has probably a connection with your hand.

Why are you scared, Evans?

JAMES POTTER. TAKE IT OFF.

It has done nothing wrong. It's just touching your robe, right? Nothing intense at all. And to be honest your leg feels far nicer than mine, and my sense of touch needs something new. And I don't need both of my hands. I can write with one only.

You aren't supposed to be writing. You're supposed to make this potion.

It's much easier for you to save it from me if I don't touch it.

YOUR FINGER'S MOVING.

Nice fabric.

POTTER. I don't know what is in your head but whatever there is, it should disappear right now. As should your hand.

What's so wrong with my hand, Evans? Don't you like it?

Not when it's on my leg. You should be making potion, not approaching me.

You aren't doing that potion, either.

Because my hands are shaking. Because your hand is on my leg. Stop it.

Does this feel bad?

That has nothing to do with this!! Sirius is laughing at me. And Alice. And Ada Thoene is staring at you.

What?!

Ada Thoene is staring at you. Now you can remove your hand from my leg to hers.

She's sitting across the class room and besides, your leg is your leg. I like it better.

Slughorn is staring at us.

Mix that potion.

James Potter, you should get your head examined.

---------------

Lily,

Remus promised to give this letter to you. I really hope that he's not going to read this, too, because he would tell Sirius and Peter and I'd hear about this for the rest of my life. Or maybe Remus would try to discuss about this with me and that would be even worse. Besides, I probably suck at writing something like this, so it's terrible enough even though you were (and I hope you're!) the only person who sees this. So please be kind and don't let Alice read this. I'm afraid Alice is corruptible when it comes to Sirius' stomach muscles.

Lily, I really like you. I'm in love with you. I care about you much more than I did about Sophie or that Ravenclaw girl with whom I got to know some places under the Quidditch auditorium when I was fifteen, after you had tried to change my head into a pumpkin two times at the same day, because I had asked you to come to Hogsmeade with me. Get it, Lily? I'm in love with you and I don't know how to tell it any better. Sirius claims that I could forget you if I only used some willpower, but I haven't managed to do it and the reason hasn't been that I wouldn't have tried hard enough. For some reason I like you and I can't stop liking you and there's nothing I can do. If I was able do something, I would have done it years ago. I know that you've wanted to push me to the railway when the train was coming, but believe me, many times I've wanted to do it myself, too. Not really serious, of course, but quite serious, anyway. Maybe I've taken all this as a joke sometimes, but mostly I've been totally serious and that makes about seventy times when I've seriously told you how I've fallen for you. I guess my self-esteem could take it forty or forty-five times, but seventy is quite much.

At least you smile at me nowadays. I'm sorry about that thing with my hand and your leg. Slughorn wasn't supposed to see it and I didn't mean to make you mad. Your leg just felt nice. And sometimes, when you smile at me, it makes me hope that maybe my self-esteem could heal some day.

I just realized that I don't know why I'm writing this. Lily Evans, I'm tired of being in love alone.

James

-------------

James,

I'm sorry. I've told you thousand times that I'm not interested in you and that hasn't changed even though you aren't as irritating as I thought you were. Unfortunately I just happen to like you as a friend, nothing more. Try to believe it, keep your hands away from me and, please, don't write this kind of letters anymore so I don't have to turn you down. I don't like that, either.

Sorry.

Lily

-----------------

Lily,  
you look shocked. What has happened?  
Alice

Alice,  
nothing's happened.  
L

You're lying.

Am not. I'm tired, and I don't feel like listening to Binns when I'm tired. Isn't that a good enough reason?

Okay, I suppose I have to believe you. Are you sure that you don't like James?

YES.

Good. Mary told me that James was late for breakfast this morning because he had gone for a walk with Ada Thoene.

Okay.

Lily?!?

I don't care. I mean. Fuck, I feel sick.

Madam Pomfrey,  
miss Evans has a headache. She is not to attend the next lesson. Professor McGonagall is teaching her in the afternoon, so if you think she needs further permission to skip lessons, you may very well give it to her.  
Professor Binns


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Thank you so much for a review :)

------------

**Chapter 7**

Ada Thoene, ha?

Evans,  
where were you yesterday? Alice said you had a headache.

Potter,  
if that's what Alice said I suppose that's true and I was away because of my headache. How complicated is that? And since when have you been in love with Ada Thoene?

Evans,  
I never said I'm in love with Ada. In fact, I don't know what I've got to do with her. And since when have you skipped lessons because of some headache? How could you, when they could ask something about the topics you missed in the N.E.W.T.?

Potter,  
shut up. I've still got a headache and you aren't helping it by being yourself. Alice told that you had gone for a walk with Thoene, and besides, you just used her front name.

Evans,  
I have a habit of calling people with their front names.

Not me.

You don't call me James, either.

That's not the point. Well, was it fun? Say something.

What?

You and Thoene. Did you have fun? Where were you? Under the Quidditch auditorium?

Evans,  
what's wrong with you?

Alice,  
do you think that thing James' got for Ada is serious?  
Lily

Lily,  
no idea. Why does James look so angry? Are you fighting?  
Alice

No. He's just annoying. Why the heck would he choose ADA THOENE? For five years he claimed to be in love with me and now he's suddenly with Ada!

Since when they're together? They only went for a walk. And why don't you like Ada?

It's not about me not liking her. At first he was oh so in love with me and now he's suddenly got some better company! And he even claims that he's better than Sirius who doesn't remember his girls' names! Of course he wants Ada, Ada has bigger breasts than me and smaller bottom and she's thinner and blond and she's got eyelashes that one can see from three meters away. And she's not even stupid or mean, fuck!

Lily,  
you sound jealous.

Well, I'm not. I'm just in a bad mood and that's because I've got a headache and James Potter has chosen that particular day to forget me because he happens to find a girl, who's more beautiful and nicer and more talkative and smarter and calmer.

You don't even have a crush on him.

OF COURSE NOT! But that doesn't mean that it wouldn't be annoying!

Lily, try to be sensible. James hasn't surely forgotten you after five years. You've turn him down at least fifty times and if he didn't give up then, he's not going to do it now. He's not even dating Ada. Maybe you should tell him that you're jealous. It would probably help more than attacking him because he's gone for a walk with another girl and saying next that you aren't interested in him.

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN HIM. How hard is it to believe?

Okay. I don't care. I have to finish a letter to Frank before this lesson ends, anyway.

-----------

Prongs,  
was it worth doing?

Sirius,  
what?

Prongs,  
don't act stupid, you're already. Was it worth finding someone else instead of Evans?

Pads,  
at least I didn't use last full moon trying to catch my own tail. What you mean, finding someone else?

It's been a month since you began seeing Ada Thoene, even though you had Evans within your reach. If I were you I would call it finding someone else, but whatever. Anyway, I just wanted to inform you that you made a right decision. Thoene isn't nearly as much trouble as Evans was. Well, what's she like?

Padfoot,  
I don't really know what she's like if you don't want to know what food she likes or what band she listens to.

Are you trying to tell me that you're just friends? Not going through, no way.

Well, I can tell you how I find snogging her: quite usual. Got it? Quite usual. A little like snogging Sophie and you know that I'm not talking about that thing you had for her legs but the fact that I haven't missed her a day since that summer. Ada is nice and I like talking to her and I like forgetting Evans sometimes. That's it.

James? Is this just another desperate attempt to get over Evans? AGAIN?

I guess so.

WHY!?!? I was so hopeful this time! Merlin, what's wrong with you?! And why would you look for someone just to get over Evans now when Evans likes you? Talks to you? Laughs at you!! Or at least she used to before you began seeing Thoene. Am I blind or do you have gone back to barely tolerating?

Something like that. Fuck. It wasn't supposed to go this way. I just couldn't bare it anyway, understand?

Well, no.

She was sitting next to me and laughed at my jokes and didn't even remember to remind me how much she hated me! And she went to Hogsmeade with me and drank some fire whiskey! I touched her leg under the table and she didn't hit me!

Well, you can't suppose that she's acting that way when you've dumped her for Thoene. That's what women are like. You can't have them all. Shit. Wait a minute!! She allowed you to stroke her leg??!?

I'm not talking about legs to you ever again. At least not about Lily's legs. Stay away from them, I mean, at least hundred kilometers away. And what do you mean about me wanting to have them all? Or both of them? I just wanted Lily!

You've got a strange way of showing it, going out with Thoene.

Lily turned me down.

It has happened before. You didn't give up then.

No, I mean that Lily really turned me down. For real.

How real? Like more real than the other times? What were they, then? Flirting?

I wrote her a letter. I mean, a real letter. You would have killed me if you had known, that kind of a letter. I told her I'm in love with her and I can't help it and all that shit that unfortunately happens to be true. Moony took the letter to her. And she answered me saying "please, could you possibly be so kind and shut up and leave me be".

Prongs,  
you wrote her a letter? A LOVE LETTER?

I was desperate!

Fuck, I don't really know what should be done with you! And Evans turned you down? Even though you wrote her a love letter?

Do you have to repeat it?

And this time you just thought you could believe her and began hitting on Thoene?

We had already been almost friends! Why did she have to act like she always did?

Maybe she just doesn't like you?

And maybe I finally got that into my stupid head. I didn't want her to get angry, I didn't try to get her angry but she did, anyway, when I began to see Ada. I can't understand her. And she turned me down first!

Prongs,  
I've no idea what's in girls' head. No one could understand them. I know pretty well how you can get one to Hogsmeade or Astronomy Tower or wardrobe, but you've tried everything and I don't know any more tricks for you to try with Evans. Sorry. I really don't know what she's thinking. You should talk to Moony. Or Evans.

I can't talk to Lily.

Why? I suppose it shouldn't be too hard after all these years.

Don't sound so old, Pads! And Lily's not talking to me.

Well, she wasn't really talking to you when you were in the sixth grade and climbed to the table and said to the whole school that you will always love her.

But then I got used to her not talking to me. She had never been talking to me. That's different.

Okay. Whatever. The lesson's over and I wanna find Thomas.

THOMAS?! PADS?!?!?

Mary Thomas. Don't worry. I'm not the one who has got problems with thinking who he should hit on.

----------

Remus,  
if I asked you something, will you promise that you'll tell no one? Never? Especially not Potter?  
Lily

Lily,  
if it isn't about life an death or something.  
Remus

Remus,  
good. I know exactly what you're going to think when I ask this, but please keep it in your mind that I'm not interested in James Potter. This is just annoying me, and I guess it's because we were almost something like friends, and so, I was just wondering if he's serious with Ada.

Lily,  
to be honest, I don't think so. Of course, I can't know what's happening in James' head, but I'm quite sure that he's not serious. I don't think Ada is, either. I guess they just happen to like each other.

Remus,  
okay. Thanks. But have they been seeing each other for two months?

Lily,  
no idea. Shouldn't you ask James?

Remus,  
I can't ask James. It's impossible. He thinks I'm jealous.

Lily,  
are you?

Remus,  
no. Now I have to concentrate on listening to the professor. There's only two months 'till N.E.W.T.

---------

James,  
when did you and Lily stop sending those notes?  
Remus

Moony,  
don't know. I guess a little after I began seeing Ada.

Well, how are things with Ada, anyway?

Fine, I guess.

Are you in love with her?

What? Why?

Because you've dated her two months and three weeks and stopped talking to Lily Evans because of it, even though getting along with Lily has been the most important thing in your life for five years.

My goal was LILY EVANS, not getting to talk to her sometimes when she happens to tolerate me. As you can see, Lily isn't going to like me for real and I'm tired. I can't keep on missing her forever. Got it, Moony? Have you ever been in love for five years? It isn't nice, it's fucking annoying and tiring and I'm done with it!

So you decided to like Ada now?

I like her. Really. We have nice time together.

James,  
three weeks ago Lily asked me if you're serious with Ada. To be honest, I guess she was quite jealous. She didn't apparently answer anything nice to that letter you wrote to her in February but do you think she was sure about her answer? Or that she wasn't pushing you down just because it's become a habit? Or that she didn't just panic? Or that she wasn't uncertain? If she had thought you were just friends, do you think she would have stopped talking to you because of Ada? She got offended! And why would she have, if she didn't liked you?

She said she's not interested. She told me to shut up and leave her alone.

Really?

Well, that was what she meant.

Okay, I don't care. I'm not the one who's dating quite nice girl when he could be dating a girl in whom he's been in love for years and can't get out of his head even though he's seeing some one else.

What do you mean, I can't get Lily out of my head?

You said that, not me. And if you don't believe yourself, you can always record your dreams.

Moony,  
shut up.

Prongs,  
Lily's gonna get over you sooner than you over her. If I were you, I wouldn't wait forever.

--------

Evans,  
how are you?

Potter,  
McGonagall just made me change a hedgehog into a rug and it still has some stings. What do you think, how I am?

Evans,  
I'm happy to hear you're fine. What else?

Potter,  
shut up. You know how I'm. You see me almost every day in the classes.

Evans,  
but you aren't talking to me. At least not really. So I have to ask.

And how are you? And Ada?

Fine.

Have you already been under the Quidditch auditorium?

Evans,  
that's not your business at all. I don't know what your problem is and why you are so fucking annoyed about Ada all the time, but I like her and that's it. If you're irritated because there are other girls in the world besides you, you could have thought that before you told me to shut up and forget you, because, if you haven't noticed, this time I obeyed. So you got what you wanted. And I'm fine at the moment, because I've got a girlfriend who's not claiming that she hates me, and who is also very nice. And that means that we both apparently are happy. I can't get why you're being sulky.

I'm not being sulky and you didn't answer the question.

I told that it's not your business and no, we haven't had sex. Merlin, Lily, I told you I'm in love with you! Did you really think that I would go and fuck someone else right after that?

Well, at least you began dating someone else right after that!

You virtually told me to do it.

You're impossible, Potter.

------

Ada,  
I'm sorry but I guess I have to cancel this evening. And tomorrow etc. This wasn't supposed to go this way, but I guess I'm still in love with Evans and for some reason I don't think I'm getting over her. Sorry. I know that this is a stupid way of breaking up and you want us to talk and clear things up or something. I can do that, but I don't know if I have anything more to say.  
James

-------

Evans,  
I'm not dating anymore.

Potter,  
WHAT? I thought it was going great.

Not great enough.

I'm sorry.

I hope you're lying.

Lily,  
why are you smiling? Has something happened? Tell me!  
Alice


End file.
